It is not REALLY empty as my youngest son is still living at home. However he just got his drivers license and is enjoying his first taste of freedom and is rarely home when I am. We no longer have that driving in the car time where we were able to connect. Now I am having to deliberately and creatively think of ways to engage and connect with him (not so successfully at this point).
After the tumultuous prior months with my oldest son I thought I would relish his move to Minnesota to go to school. While I am thrilled that he has this opportunity to learn and mature, I am sharply feeling his absence.
I am feeling less needed, less connected, and less purposeful. My role as a mother is shifting (again) and I am floundering a bit as I figure out what mothering looks like and how it acts in this new season with my boys (and my daughter). It feels a bit like being lost. I am actively looking for the "right" path, but am having a hard time finding it. Sometimes I have a hard time deciphering where my map (the Word) wants me to go now and I just want to curl up on the path with a book and a bag of licorice worms and feel sorry for myself. Yet that gets old pretty quick and I realize that it is better to keep moving and trying and holding on to the promises of God. Even if I am not sure what they mean for me at the present moment, I trust that He will unveil the path for me at the right time.
I am with you and will watch over you wherever you go, and I will bring you back to this land. I will not leave you until I have done what I have promised you.
Genesis 28:15
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