How Does God See Me (and You)?

So many of our struggles come from not seeing ourselves in the way that God sees us. Because we don't really see ourselves with God's "eyes" we seek to define who we are in other ways - like good works, how attractive we are to the opposite sex, how thin we are, what clothes we wear, how important our job is, who our friends want us to be, what we see in the media, our children's successes or failures and on and on...

If we are defining who we are by anything other than Christ, it leads to discouragement and despair (and many times into sin as we try to escape these feelings). If we could just have God's "eyes" for a moment, I think we would be shocked at the all-encompassing unconditional love that He has for us. If we could see have His view for just a moment I don't think we would be trying to "fill-up" our souls with these false sources of worth.

Since I have been in this place of misguided self-definition (on more than one occasion I admit), I wanted to look at what the Bible says about how God sees me. Each line below is based directly on Scripture and explores how the God of the entire universe sees His creation (you and me).

I am........
A new creation
Chosen by God
Unable to be separated from God’s love by anything external or internal
Holy
His friend
Clean, blessed and accepted
God's child that will receive an inheritance of glory
Forgiven
Approved
Freed from sin
Strong (through Christ)
Without fault
His stunning success
Daily equipped to serve Him
Accepted as I am
Able to live a godly life
A temple of the Holy Spirit

The Knowledge Fairy

from Dave Barry
When a boy reaches 13 years of age, the Knowledge Fairy comes around and inserts into his brain all the information in the entire universe. From that point on he no longer needs any parental guidance. All he needs is parental money...If you criticize him, he'll give you a look of contempt met with pity because you are a clueless old dork that was last visited by the Knowledge Fairy in 1873 and your brain has been leaking information ever since.

Power for Change

I was given the opportunity to visit an impoverished family in Shoshanguve South Africa. There was a woman living with her daughter and baby (who have AIDS) and four other orphaned grandchildren. The condition of their house was deplorable and their food supply inadequate. It touched our group deeply and, in addition to praying for them right then and giving them our sack lunches that we had packed for ourselves, Johan committed to building them a more suitable house and getting the orphans into the Day Care Center. Below are Johan's words of the impact that this day has had in the ensuing month.It gave me goosebumps as I read this and saw God's mighty hand working through what to us was a brief stop on a busy day "tour". It may have been brief in our minds but the faithfulness of the AFnet team is causing a lasting impact in this community.

A few weeks ago we wrote about how we were touched by the plight of a poor old granny and her 5 orphaned grandchildren. We decided to build a small house for these destitute children who had all lost their parents due to AIDS. Our motive was humanitarian and driven by compassion. And so we launched into this project, not realizing what a divine opportunity this project would turn into.

From the first day we started digging the foundations, and right through every step of the project our team has been swamped by people from all over that impoverished community. They come to check on the progress, asking questions, giving advice, wondering why we would even consider doing something like this for people that we did not even know; people whom nobody else even cared about. They can not understand why we care! At first it was curiosity. Now the interest has grown to an almost embarrassing hysterical situation as people from all over that village come running, cheering and dancing along the road when they see our team drive up that dusty, almost impassable road. Our only reply could be: “Because Jesus deeply loves you!”

Since then, Pastor Jack Baloyi, our team member in Soshanguve, has reported that so many people from that village have swamped his church (which is miles away) that they’re struggling to handle the overflow. The people are coming to see for them selves and to find out who these people are that would do such a thing in their community. He further reported that Grandma “Sambo”, who had not attended church for years, was now regularly attending his services with her 5 orphans and that this past Sunday she had brought with her 11 other members of her extended family. They all received Jesus as Lord and Savior, reporting that for the first time ever they could understand the message preached, and that it actually made sense them. It now made sense in the context of their experience with those who were living out what they believed by serving the poor, destitute and desperate people of the surrounding communities. Everything about this was so different from their perception and what they had experienced the Church to be up to now.

And so, this past week, upon Pastor Jack’s suggestion we decided to plant a new congregation in that community. Now the people of that un-churched community will not have to walk miles to get to his church in future.

We never thought that such a small thing would lead to such a dynamic groundswell of interest by a whole community. We never imagined that building a small house for an “insignificant” little orphaned family would lead to many of their neighbors receiving Jesus as Lord and Savior. We did not think that serving the poorest of the poor would cause a whole community to sit up and watch; let alone lead to a very strategic church planting project. How could we imagine what a difference a small thing like building a little house for a grandmother and her orphans would make in a community? And now, the word is spreading through Soshanguve that the Church is doing something different in the community. The word is out that people from the church really care and are making a difference. As a result the Kingdom of God has advanced!

Parenting Manual Needed

Why isn't there an owners manual for raising teenagers? I don't mean one of the thousands of very well meaning (and often helpful) books that talk about setting boundaries, allowing your children to experience consequences, keep the lines of communication open, be a good listener, don't nag, have one to one time each week, ask questions, know where they are and who they are with and so on... I want a topical manual that is practical and gives specific instructions to the parent for each possible circumstance and the result of each solution. I want something that will clearly tell me how to get the best result from my child.

For example:

Teenage son comes home with two D's and 3 C's and a B in PE. This is the kid that has gotten an A on almost every test but fails to do any homework resulting in these dismal grades.

Solution #1 - Ground child from all activity for remainder of grading period - take away cell phone and computer privileges (including World of Warcraft). Repeatedly discuss with him how a 1.6 GPA will not get him into school even in South Dakota. Check his grades weekly with each teacher.
Result: Son will rebel even more and refuse to invest in school.

Solution #2 - Have lengthy discussions of why he is refusing to do homework. Take him to a counselor so he can examine his avoidance issues with a third party. Have an educational assessment of the child. Spend lots of money. Do not punish him.
Result: Son will blow you off and continue to ignore homework.

Solution #3 - Restrict computer and phone time during the school week. Provide incentives (drivers license, etc..) for good grades. Provide friendly reminders to child regarding homework each week.
Result: Son will want to enjoy privilege(s) so he will begin to do homework and improving grades. He will get into a good college and be a successful contributor to society and his family.

I wish it were so easy. I wish there was such a clear-cut formula for each situation for all teenagers. I wish it didn't take so long to see any results of our parenting solutions - often I don't know if my solution is actually working and I might change course too soon!

I would like to know - on a daily basis - how to give my teenagers what they need NOT what they want. I know they need boundaries - but how restrictive or permissive should these be? When is trying to connect with your teen falling into the trap of "being their buddy"? In what circumstances do you make them do something that you know will be beneficial when they are adamant against it (an adamant teenager can be very disruptive to the household)? How do you relate to them spiritual truths without them rolling their eyes and thinking they are being "preached" at? What do you do if they reject their faith - in words or actions?

So I have tried all three of the solutions presented to the above example. Not one of them has yielded a positive result as yet. This is why a topical parenting manual would be so helpful. Yet if we had such a manual we might rely on it to provide the wisdom our teenagers needed when what we need to do is rely on God. We need to depend on Him - the One who knows our children intimately - to give us the wisdom, knowledge, strength and grace to parent our kids through these tumultuous years. Raising teenagers has caused me to be on my knees, dependent on Him in new ways as situations arise that I never expected (or wanted). If I had a manual giving me the step by step instructions, I might make less "mistakes" but would I be as aware of my need for Gods wisdom and grace as deeply? Would I surrender my control and self-sufficiency? Would I seek His wisdom as diligently?
Probably not.