New Expectations

What more could I have done for my vineyard that I have not already done? When I expected sweet grapes, why did my vineyard give me bitter grapes? Isaiah 5:4

On Easter Sunday I was very observant of all the young children dressed up in their Easter best — flowing, flowery pastel dresses for the girls and crisp button up shirts for the boys (that had at one time been tucked into their pants). I saw one young family with two girls in matching green and blue flowery dresses with bouncy ribbons in their hair and their brother in a snappy argyle vest in the same colors. They were precious in their innocence and joy at dressing up (well... the girls anyway) and their excitement over cupcakes and Easter egg hunts and giant caterpillars they could crawl through. The biggest decision of the day was which cupcake to pick from the array laid out before them.

Watching the young families was bittersweet to me this Easter. It brought back memories of the innocent years when my children were young and brought into sharp focus how far they have come since those years. Watching the eager young faces of the children made me ache as I thought of challenges that my two "children" are facing. As I watched the parents (moms in particular), I was painfully reminded of my own hopes and dreams for my children that have been irrevocably lost.

"Expectations are mental sets we choose to hold (they are not genetically endowed) that help us move through time (from now to later), through change (from old to new), and through experience (from familiar to unfamiliar) in order to anticipate the next reality we encounter."*

The challenge facing me now is to build new expectations based on the reality that our family is now encountering. My old expectations don't really matter anymore; they are now defunct. I can choose to hold on to them and lament why they were not fulfilled and speculate if they were unrealistic and fixate on who is to blame for their demise .... or I can deliberately, thoughtfully, and prayerfully start building new expectations that will help me navigate this unexpected and unfamiliar reality that is ahead.

*Carl Pickhardt PhD (http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/surviving-your-childs-adolescence/201003/adolescence-and-the-problem-parental-expectations)