George(iana) Bailey of Aptos

A personal Christmas tradition that I have kept for the last 15 years is the annual watching of It's a Wonderful Life. The kids used to sit and watch with me, but they have lost interest over the years. Now they just sit by me at the end of the movie, carefully watching to see when I will start crying. I am not sure why they think it will ever be any different. Whenever I see all of the people crowding in George Bailey's house to help a friend in need, the tears start to flow. By the time George's brother makes his toast, "To my brother, the richest man in town", my face is covered in tears and my nose resembles Rudolph.

I finally realized why I remain so deeply touched by that movie, even after watching it dozens of times. I identify with George Bailey. I was never going to stay in Santa Cruz. I was going to go away to college, be a book editor in New York City, travel the world and live a sophisticated life. Unlike George Bailey, my continued residence in Santa Cruz, less than exciting career and reasons for being "stuck" are a result of my own choices. Nevertheless there are times when I feel like I missed out on a part of life that I had hoped to experience. Also like George there are times when I am resentful of the emotional ties that keep me here, and do not see the value or purpose of my life. Thus my identification with George Bailey.

Over the past month I have been dealing with some devastating news regarding my two oldest children. I wrote a cryptic note on Facebook about "hanging onto hope by a thin thread." Not only were there multiple encouraging comments, but at least a half a dozen people emailed or called me to to see if there was any way they could support me - not even knowing the situation. Relatives that I do not feel terribly close to sent me encouraging notes and links to sermons they thought would help. It was just like the last scene in the movie where people don't even know what's wrong with George, but they step in and do whatever they can to help a friend in trouble.


Like George I never knew that I was really that important to anyone outside my immediate family. I thought I had to figure out how to to fix my problems on my own. The outpouring of love and support that my friends have shown me through messages, phone calls, gifts, IM conversations and coffee dates has really shown me that despite the unexpected and painful situation, I really do have wonderful life.